This Is The Face Of My Mental Illness


A comedian named Chris Gethard posted this with the caption: THIS IS THE FACE OF MY MENTAL ILLNESS.

It’s a picture of him in bed after he’d been crying all day.
He wanted to show people what depression “really” looks like.
He posted this right after the death of Robin Williams.

 

A lot of has been written about depression since Williams died.
But I still found this very interesting because of how raw and personal it is.

If you suffer from depression, I hope this will help you realize that you are NOT alone.
And if you don’t suffer from depression, I hope this will give you a better idea of what someone goes through when they’re depressed.

This is what Chris Gethard wrote:

I took this picture of myself at the end of a day I spent in bed, scared and crying, feeling alone and hopeless and completely desperate.

This is the face of my mental illness.
This is the face of my sadness when it is at its most inexplicable and its most pronounced.
I am not ashamed of it.

Up until now, there is NO way I would let anyone see this face.

I first realized something was really up with me around the age of 11. I did anything I could to hide the face you see above.
I masked it with anger, with judgement, with jokes.

When I got older, I masked it with alcohol and sometimes with drugs.
I did anything to make sure no one saw that face, even if it meant they saw an even uglier version of my face.
At least I was in control of that face.

As I got older and my problems got more pronounced, I’d physically hide from people who tried to help me if I was in the state you see above.
I’d pretend I wasn’t home.
I’d leave.
I’d get in a car and drive away before I let anyone see my weakness this way.

Even after I started getting help, I never spoke about it.

Then I started speaking about it on stage where I could make jokes about it and remove the tension – again, where I could be in control.

(But) even then, as someone who felt empowered and who has been told he empowered others, I never would have actually let anyone see me like this if I could help it.

But a few months back, I had a breakdown.
I had a day where I couldn’t get out of bed.
I spent a bunch of hours scared and crying.
And I took out my phone and took a picture.

This is the face of my mental illness.
It’s not so bad.
It doesn’t scare me like it used to, and I’m ok with you seeing it.
If you are suffering, get help. If you feel weak, know you can find some strength.
Stay alive.
– Geth

chris_gethland

 

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