Starbucks Mums Mortifying Experience In line is the WORST!!!


So I am in line at Starbucks today, completely hangry because I forgot to eat lunch. Nugget is with me, climbing on the walls, because he also forgot something rather important: how to nap.

The line is forever long and my kid is like a dang jack in the box, completely wound up, and I am certain he’s gonna bust open any minute with some brand of crazy that I can’t control.

I walk up to the barista, order a nuclear dose of caffeine, a snack for the kiddo, and then…

I feel a cool breeze.

On my butt.

It takes just a second for me to realize that my son has lifted my dress over his head, and is wearing it like a hat, with my granny panties and dimpled behind flashing for the entire world to see.

But in that one second, he also spun around, and this is going to be hard to explain but: my son wrapped his head up like a dumdum with my dress and he was ABSOLUTELY WIGGING OUT because

“MOMMY I CANT BWEEEETH!!!!”

All the while my butt is showing and the barista wants me to complete my order.

Now pause.

I am a mom blogger, yall. It’s great to have this large following and it goes with the territory that I get recognized occasionally. And hey…that’s fun!

Except.

Except for when my son’s head is literally stuck against my butt, shrink-wrapped like a lollipop, and he’s panicking because he might just die back there and, really: Could there be anything worse?

When I finally got Nugget out of my dress, covered my butt back up, and turned to pay the barista, my tab had been covered.

“The man said to tell you that ‘he’s a fan’”.

Well.

Now I’ll always have to wonder if he’s a fan of this page, a fan of my parenting, or just a fan of that family circus that travels around Florida showing the world that no matter how bad your day is, you could always be a mom whose child got stuck in her dress, revealing her behind to an entire Starbucks.

Either way….thank you, kind sir.

The latte was especially delicious with my humble pie.

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