A child with special needs is a child first and foremost. As such he needs everything that has already been talked about in this guide: warm, responsive, sensitive parenting with firm and consistent boundaries, as well as plenty of opportunities for play, exploration, and fun. “A child’s special needs are as much a part of … Read more
The self-assessment questionnaires in Tables 1 and 2 will help you determine the best format and configuration for your family’s checklists. Have each family member complete both questionnaires. Keep in mind that, in the end, each person will be able to have her own individual checklist that suits her personal style. Table 1. Handwritten or … Read more
Tough times Helping with harmful situations A small number of teenagers do go “off the rails” during adolescence and present you with exactly the situations you had always hoped to avoid. It is normal for your teenager to be impulsive, reckless, and consider himself indestructible, but not to deliberately put himself in danger, willfully harm … Read more
By the time your toddler reaches his fourth birthday he will be well aware of his place in the family, and the people within it will make up the largest part of his world. This section looks at some of the broader areas that may affect your toddler’s upbringing and your parenting choices. “I missed … Read more
There is a lot of talk in the business world about the difference between being efficient and being effective. The same principles apply to running a family. Here are our basic definitions of these important terms: Being efficient means getting something done by expending the least amount of time, energy, and money. Being effective means … Read more
Building trust Teaching your adolescent The trust that flows between you and your child begins at birth and changes as he grows and develops. In his babyhood and early years he must trust you completely to meet his emotional and physical needs. As he gets older, the balance shifts as you teach, guide, and accept … Read more
by Lisa LiddanE photos by Nicholas Koon A barclay butera-designed house retains its cozy and relaxed atmosphere after a decade. Two works of art by Hisashi Otsuka in the dining room have provided color inspiration for that room. The allwhite kitchen features a Carrara marble-topped island and espresso cane bar chairs; The master suite features … Read more
Anorexia and bulimia Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are the two main categories of eating disorder. There are many similarities between the two groups: As many as 40 percent of sufferers of anorexia engage in binge eating. However most binge eaters do not go on to develop anorexia. The neat differentiation between different types of … Read more
Giving and Getting Respect Challenging behavior Q: My son has set up a diary on the computer and won’t let me read it. Should I insist he let me? A: Your son’s diary is a dialog with himself that allows him to explore his experiences, hopes, and fears. Closing the screen is his way of … Read more
Five children? Wow. Really? Why????? Just a few of the responses I have received from people when they find out how many little ones we maintain in the Hurley brood. I come from a two-child home, just me and my younger sister, Lauren. I remember always wanting more siblings and begging my mother to “just … Read more
Q: I’m worried my child might be developing eating difficulties. Is there anything I can do? A: Parents may feel alarmed by the dangers of eating difficulties and disorders, and feel powerless to prevent them from happening, as parental influence and control diminishes in the teenage years. However, there are many simple and sensible steps … Read more
Shared parenting Raising children together needs to be a cooperative partnership—and the more honest you can be with yourself and with one another, the easier it will be. Although a challenge, this is especially true when parents live apart. Some compromises will be necessary, for the good of your children—and your sanity! It is not … Read more
Melanie McCarthy When I was pregnant with my son, one of my favorite pastimes was daydreaming about the nursery. I would flip through catalogs and browse cribs and bedding Online when I was supposed to be working. What color would I paint his room? What’s the theme? Pastel lambs or fi sh in primary colors? … Read more
Loner? An unhappy child It wasn’t that he just wanted to be alone for a while, it was hours and hours in his room. I’d knock and open the door, and there he was, lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He stopped going out with friends, saying he was tired, and he did … Read more
Your child’s experience of the world will be shaped by you and drawn from a range of influences that will all have their roots in your past. She will naturally look to you for guidance on what is “right and wrong”—and will push the boundaries of acceptable behavior during the learning process. “Your child has … Read more
Q: My child and I always clash over her sleep patterns—she says I don’t understand. Who is right? A: You both probably are! It is true that it is typical for teenagers to shift to a sleeping pattern of later bedtimes and later rising over the weekends. However, overall she may be getting less sleep … Read more
You will want to give your children the best direction and care, but at some point you are likely to slip into a style of parenting that is convenient and instinctive, rather than developed consciously. How do you find a way of parenting that works for you and your family, and what should you avoid? … Read more
The stages of play Responding to your child at her level is crucial. Babying a four-year-old will stop her from testing her capabilities and developing, while having expectations beyond your child’s years will set her up for early anxiety and the possibility of “performance failure” and disappointment. Play develops through a number of stages: All … Read more
Your Premature Baby If your baby was born prematurely, she may have spent time in a neonatal intensive care unit. Such a challenging start is bound to impact the early years of parenting, but it is important to try to come to terms with and handle your feelings. “I can reassure you that most premature … Read more
All young creatures learn through play, and children are no exception. Toddlers are naturally curious and will interpret their world using all their senses, learning all the time from their experiences. Their instinct for discovery is naturally expressed through playfulness and doesn’t need to be forced. “There is a time for directed play (leading your … Read more