One week ago, I birthed a healthy baby boy 💙 And not in the way I ever pictured it.

I spent months intricately crafting a birth plan that allowed my son’s safe entry into the world. I read books, did daily affirmations & visualizations, practiced optimal fetal positioning, exercised, did my hypnosis tracks…There was no way my birth wouldn’t go smoothly with the belief I put behind it.

9/9 at 2am I went into labor. Everything progressed beautifully just as I had envisioned. I labored at home for 9 hours to 5 cm. We drove to the hospital greeted by soft voices and positivity. We were transported to our labor suite complete with dim lighting, calm music, and lavender burning. I went directly into the massive jacuzzi tub, where my midwife and nurse respected me declining IV’s and fetal monitors. They treated me like a person, not a patient, believing in my plan. They spoke to me with compassion and encouragement as I worked through each surge with my partner and Doula.

As I progressed to 10 cm, I realized all the work I had done up to this point was coming to fruition. Before I knew it my body began pushing without me, just as I read it would. I was doing it.

Little did I know 26 hours in and 9 hours later of pushing would lead to zero progress and a baby in distress with decreasing oxygen levels. He was facing forward and refused to turn despite my efforts. I knew in my heart I had to pivot to bring my baby safely into the world. So I took orders from a doctor (I swore I would never be delivered by a doctor) to take an epidural to get some rest and relax my body to allow the baby to turn. With this came the IV’s and monitors.

3+ hours into pushing and still no progress. Off I went to surgery for a c-section. 30+ hours in, our beautiful baby was born. He struggled to breath which resulted in incomplete delayed cord clamping and delayed skin to skin. 10 min later we heard him cry.

Before this experience the thought of this outcome felt like a failure, but at that moment I couldn’t be more proud. I tried everything I could, never once felt fear, trusted the process, and got in the end what I TRULY wanted…Our little Landon.

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