New Parents : I'm Scared of Dropping Him Caring for your newborn baby (part 1)

Even though we have a toddler, I’m still scared I’ll drop the baby. Do other dads feel like this?

This is a normal and natural feeling and affects the majority of
all new dads (and many moms!). Babies seem to be such fragile little
creatures, especially because of their size compared to you. However,
they are in fact quite resilient to inept handling and are a lot
stronger than they look. Remember the tough journey they have just
undergone to be born! If you have so far avoided handling your baby
much, try to overcome your fears by watching your partner change your
baby or bathe him, then offer to help so that you can give your partner a
rest. Once you have changed a few diapers, or done some burping
sessions, you will find that your confidence in handling your baby
begins to grow quickly. The more contact you have with your baby, the
more confident you will become over time, and your partner will also
benefit from the added support and help you are providing and from
knowing that she can feel confident leaving you in charge of the baby
sometimes.

Our baby screams whenever he goes near water. How can we make bathing him less stressful?

There is no right or wrong way to bathe a baby, but with a little
care and organization it can actually become quite a playful and fun
experience (see Bathing and washing ).
This may seem hard to believe at the moment, and it is certainly the
case that many newborn babies initially scream throughout their
bathtime. However, the main reason why babies do this is because they
don’t like to feel cold. To keep your baby comfortable during a bathing
session, make sure that the room you bathe him in is sufficiently warm
and draft-free, which will help him relax and feel less distressed.
Also, always gather everything you need ready before the bathing session
so that you don’t have to go and fetch items mid-way through a session,
and of course never leave your baby unattended.

If you are feeling
stressed during your baby’s bathtime, he may be sensing this, which
could be adding to his upset. The biggest fear that moms and dads have
is of dropping their baby while bathing him, so you could initially try
bathing at ground level to help you to build your confidence. Also,
remember to communicate with your baby the whole time while you are
bathing him—talking to him constantly in a soothing tone, or singing to
him, will help distract and reassure him and in turn you are likely to
feel far more relaxed, which will have a positive effect on your baby.

If you are still
concerned about handling your baby, then seek help from your partner, if
he or she is more confident, or talk to your nurse or pediatrician who
will be more than happy to offer you additional advice and support.

Our newborn sleeps so much—it’s wonderful, but should I be waking him for a feeding?

While many newborn babies sleep for what seems to be a very short
amount of time, some do sleep for quite long periods. One factor that
may influence how long your baby sleeps is how he is fed. The makeup of
formula is very different than that of breast milk and sits in a baby’s
stomach longer. So formula-fed babies tend to sleep for longer periods
and are, in fact, encouraged to do so to prevent overfeeding and
constipation. However, a bottle-fed baby shouldn’t be left without a
feeding for more than six hours and it is recommended that bottle-fed
babies should have no fewer than six feedings a day. So if your baby
sleeps well at night, daytime feedings will need to be closer together
and you may need to wake him to feed him.

Breast-fed babies are very
different feeders. Many feed 10–12 times a day, or even more, and there
are times when they “cluster feed” and the feedings blend into one very
long feeding. However, there are some breast-fed babies who do not feed
regularly and appear sleepy. These babies may be tired, sedated by
maternal medication during labor, or just very sore as a result of the
birth.

Immediately
after the birth, babies have fat and fluid reserves that can sustain
them for a day or two. However, if your baby is very sleepy for the
first 24–48 hours, you should still try to stimulate him every few hours
and wake him for feedings. There are several things you can do to
encourage a sleepy baby to feed, such as lying your baby naked on your
chest so that you get skin-to-skin contact, which can encourage him to
root for the nipple and feed; massaging him; dripping expressed milk
onto his lips; and changing his diaper to encourage him to wake.
However, do not force him to feed by, for example, pushing him toward
the breast, since this could put him off breast-feeding.

You can also start to
express milk every two to three hours to stimulate your breasts to
produce milk. Your nurse will assess your baby to make sure that he is
not becoming dehydrated or passing concentrated urine; that his bowel
movements are changing color to yellow; and that he is not jaundiced,
since mild jaundice can make a baby a little drowsy.

I’m scared to touch my baby’s cord stump—should I clean it?

The cord stump is the end of the umbilicus that housed the
arteries and veins that fed your baby and removed waste products in
pregnancy. It is common for parents to not want to touch the stump.
However, the stump can become infected since its base can get moist, and
harmful bacteria that live naturally on our skin may grow in this moist
area before it falls off, usually by the tenth day. If the cord stump
is clean, there is no need to touch it, but if it becomes soiled, it
should be cleaned with damp cotton pads. Once it has fallen off, the
“wound” needs cleaning until it heals, since the navel and surrounding
area can also become inflamed. If the stumps smells offensive or is
sticky, contact your pediatrician.

What is meconium?

Meconium is a waste product from your baby’s bowels. It is dark
brown/green in color and its texture is quite sticky and thick. Meconium
is formed from as early as 12 weeks gestation and contains dead skin
cells and debris from the amniotic fluid that the baby swallows and
digests throughout pregnancy. It is usually expelled after birth in the
first few stools, but it can be passed in pregnancy or labor when it may
be a sign that the baby is distressed. If meconium is seen before the
birth, the baby will be monitored carefully during the labor and birth.

How often should I change my baby’s diaper?

Your baby’s own toilet habits will dictate how often to change
his diapers. However, you should check his diaper fairly regularly,
since wetness and the ammonia contained in urine and the digestive
enzymes in stools can quickly irritate a baby’s sensitive skin. Some
babies need changing around 6–8 times a day, while others require a
diaper change as often as 10–12 times a day, for example, breast-fed
babies who poop much more frequently than bottle-fed babies. As your
baby gets older, he will need changing less frequently.

Is there anything I should look out for when I’m changing his diaper?

A baby’s urine is pale after birth and then yellows within the
next few days. There may be a pinky-orange stain in your baby’s diaper,
which is concentrated urine from when he was in the uterus and is quite
normal. As long as your baby urinates at least four times a day and
there is no blood present, there is nothing for you to worry about. The
black-green meconium passed after the birth gradually changes to a yellow color as normal digestion begins.

Breast-fed babies tend
to pass stools that are runny and mustard-yellow, which can look
similar to diarrhea, while a formula-fed baby’s stools will be much
firmer and a seedy pale yellow. Some babies have a bowel movement with
every feeding, since feeding stimulates peristalsis, or muscular
contractions, in the gut; others, particularly bottle-fed babies, may
only pass a stool once a week. If the stool is hard and dry, or there is
any mucus or blood in the stool, talk to your doctor.

How should we deal with diaper rash?

Diaper rash is painful for the baby, but also distressing for
parents, who may feel that they should have been able to prevent it. The
reasons for diaper rash include infrequent diaper changes allowing
irritants to stay in contact with the skin; if an emollient cream has
not been used; or if the baby has a yeast infection that is irritating
sensitive skin. Also, changing a baby’s diaper too regularly can
sometimes be harmful because the baby may be sensitive to the wipes
being used.

The most usual way to
deal with diaper rash is to “air” the bottom as often as is practical.
After thorough handwashing, clean your baby’s bottom carefully with
cotton balls and warm tap water and/or emollient creams, which lubricate
the skin and stop it from becoming too dry, and avoid soaps or wipes.
Then leave your baby without a diaper on an absorbent mat or towel for a
while. When you change his diaper, apply an emollient or barrier cream
thinly so that it protects the skin but does not prevent the diaper from
soaking up urine. Appropriate ointments and creams include zinc oxide
or petroleum jelly. Acid Mantle, an effective diaper rash cream can be
applied under a layer of zinc oxide. A pure lanolin cream may also be
helpful.

Occasionally, a
moderate or severe diaper rash may be infected. In this case, treatment
with antibiotics may be necessary. Also, to reduce inflammation, a
hydrocortisone cream may be suggested by your baby’s pediatrician for
application once a day, to reduce the inflammation of the diaper rash
and give it a better chance to heal. An antifungal cream will also be
recommended since many moderate to severe rashes are infected with the
yeast Candida albicans. If the rash persists after 7–10 days, the doctor
may recommend an antifungal syrup to try to treat the whole bowel for
yeast infection. If this occurs, an antifungal cream may be prescribed
for use on the nipples after feeding (always wash before the next
feeding). If the diaper rash still shows no sign of healing, your doctor
may refer your baby to a dermatologist.

Should we use baby wipes or just cotton pads when changing a diaper?

Most authorities would advise that you stick to warm water and
cotton balls or pads, or a soft cloth, to clean your newborn baby when
changing his diapers. Any soaps, perfumed or otherwise, or baby wipes
should be used with some caution since, although baby products are
specially designed to be kinder on a baby’s sensitive new skin, they can
still irritate the tender skin. The best idea is to avoid baby wipes
entirely until your baby is around one month old.

My baby’s scalp has become scaly. Is this cradle cap and what should I do about it?

Cradle cap, or seborrheic dermatitis, is a common condition in
young babies, appearing as yellow, scaly patches on the scalp. This
condition is harmless and will clear up on its own over time. However,
if you are concerned that it is unsightly, gently massage some olive oil
into the scalp, leave this on overnight, and then wash your baby’s hair
in the morning with a mild baby shampoo; most of the flakes should
disappear. Don’t pick at the scales since this could damage the skin and
increase the chance of infection.

What temperature should our house be when we bring our new baby home?

Babies find it hard to maintain their body temperature. Maternity
units are notoriously hot as they are dealing with babies who have just
been born and are still wet from the delivery. Once you are home
maintain room temperature at one that is comfortable for you or between
65 and 70° F (18 and 21° C). Babies are at risk of crib death . if they become too hot due to being in a warm room or being overwrapped.

However, the room
temperature is a guideline only and you should learn to check for other
signs that your baby is too hot or too cold. As a guide, a baby’s hands
and feet feel cool and their heads feel hot since they tend to lose heat
through their heads. Check his temperature by feeling your baby’s chest
with the back of your hand, not your fingers, since they may be cold.
If your baby feels warm to touch, he is probably warm enough. If he is
hot or sweaty, remove a layer of clothing or a blanket or sheet. If he
is cold, add a layer. Comforters are not recommended until your baby is
at least a year old to avoid overheating.

If your baby is
unwell, hot, and shivery, your immediate reaction may be to wrap and
cuddle him, but this can raise his temperature. Instead, remove a few
layers so that your baby can cool down. Call your pediatrician if your
baby has a temperature over 100.4° F (38° C) rectally or if he is
particularly unresponsive and listless.

How should I place my baby in the crib?

The CDC and American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that your
baby should be placed on his back with his feet toward the bottom of the
crib to prevent him from wriggling under the blankets and possibly
suffocating himself .
Light cotton blankets and sheets, available in crib sizes, should be
used rather than quilts or comforters, so that layers can be built up or
taken off. The blankets and sheets should be tucked under the baby’s
arms so that your baby is less likely to pull them over his face. Swaddling is another method of wrapping your baby which some babies find comforting
.

Is it OK to swaddle our baby? there seem to be conflicting opinions.

Swaddling
means wrapping your baby in a light cotton blanket or sheet, the idea
being to keep him feeling warm and secure in the outside world
. When swaddled, the baby is so well wrapped that his arms and
legs become “strapped” to his sides, restricting the movement of the
limbs. There are differing views as to whether a baby should be
swaddled. The practice of swaddling is very popular in Asian and Eastern
European areas. Its popularity is also on the rise in the US,
especially since parents have been encouraged to put babies in their own
cribs to sleep rather than bedsharing. It is also thought that the
swaddling may help a baby sleep comfortably on his back.

The CDC warns of
the risks of overheating a baby so any swaddling should be done with a
light cotton sheet or blanket and the room must not be too warm. On the
other hand, some believe that swaddled babies risk getting cold since
they cannot maintain their temperature by moving.

Should my baby wear his hat indoors?

One factor known to increase the risk of crib death (SIDS) is an
overheated baby. Although babies lose excess heat from their heads and
it is a good idea to cover a baby’s head outside if it is cold or windy,
the baby’s hat should be removed indoors or when you enter an area that
is warm, such as on a bus or going into a store, even if it means
waking your baby.

There are some exceptions.
If a baby was born prematurely, had a very low birth weight, or has
difficulty maintaining his temperature then they may need to wear a hat
indoors. However, once these babies are a healthy weight or able to
maintain their body temperature, this no longer applies.

He screams when I undress him. What can I do?

Babies use crying as their means of communication. It may be that
when you undress him, he is either protesting that he is cold or that
he does not like the feeling of air on his skin, which he is unused to
after being snuggled in the womb for nine months. Try to keep the
changing time as short as possible, making sure he is not in a drafty or
cold environment. Afterward, comfort your baby by rocking him;
swaddling and keeping him in an upright position can also soothe him.

When can we take him out?

Some recommend waiting for 1–2 weeks before going out, but this
will depend on individual circumstances. When you feel well enough, you
could try going out for a short walk, but bear in mind it will be the
same distance to get back, so do not overdo it. You may have a local
park you could visit or simply have a walk around the block—it’s best to
keep it simple at first until you get used to being out together. You
are likely to feel somewhat nervous at first about taking your baby
outside of the home, but, as with most aspects of baby care, once you
get used to going out you will probably lose much of your anxiety. As
you start to increase the distance and time away from home, make sure
you have taken everything you will need to care for your baby while you
are out. This will include changing equipment, and blankets, stroller
covers, or sun screens to protect your baby from different weather
conditions. The time of year will also affect how long you stay out.

Can he sleep for long in his car seat?

There are rules to suggest how long a baby should remain in a car
seat, but bear in mind that being fixed in one position for long
periods of time would be uncomfortable for anyone, regardless of age.
Generally, it is not recommended that babies be left for a long period
of time in car seats since there is a risk of overheating and if they
fall asleep curled up in this position it may affect their breathing,
and can encourage trapped gas, causing discomfort. You should be careful
when carrying your baby in a car seat since they tend to be heavy and
you are more prone to back injuries in the postpartum period.

My wife won’t let me do a thing but I want to get better at it. How can I help?

Some women feel that it is their responsibility to care for the
baby, but it is well documented that a couple’s relationship is
strengthened when the care is shared. This involves joint
decision-making and making choices regarding care together. Babies can
pick up on positive and negative feelings expressed by their parents,
and it is important for all concerned that both the mother and the
father bond with the child. Offer to perform routine tasks in front of
her to instill her confidence in your ability. This may take time, but
the reward is worth it. She will also benefit from being able to take
breaks, confident in the knowledge that you can manage as well as she
can.

My friend’s baby had colic and she had a miserable few months with it. Will my baby get it?

The term “colic”
refers to when babies seem to cry continually and cannot be soothed
. Although obviously distressing for the baby, it is equally
upsetting for the parents to listen to their baby crying so painfully
for so long. As no one knows exactly why colic occurs, it is impossible
to say whether or not your baby will suffer from it. However, there are
several theories as to what causes colic. One is that the baby’s
intestines are immature and working too hard, causing cramps. Another is
that the bowel movements are too slow and the air in the bowel is
trapped. Another theory is that the baby is eating too much, too fast,
and has air trapped. None of these is proven and all we know is that
colic occurs in around 10–15 percent of babies.

My baby cries continually. I’m not having much success with breast-feeding—is he hungry?

Newborn babies cry on average for two and a half hours each day.
Crying is your baby’s only means of communication and so he cries to get
you to respond to his needs, whether he is hungry, wet, or just wants
to be cuddled. Some babies cry more and may struggle when you try to
comfort them, which can make you anxious. If you are anxious about
breast-feeding, your baby may sense this and begin to cry. Sometimes, it
is necessary to take a step back and try to relax. Taking a warm bath
with your baby skin-to-skin can help calm you both and may help you
relax more while feeding. Once warm and calm, your baby may try to get
into a good position to feed. Ensure he latches on well and does not
cause pain after the first few sucks.
Allowing your baby to feed as and when he wants is important. As your
baby gets older, the regularity of feedings will settle and the
intervals will lengthen.

Other reasons why babies
cry include being overstimulated (try a bath skin-to-skin); being
uncomfortable (try burping); being wet (change his diaper); being cold
or hot (change the clothing and room temperature); wanting comfort (try
swaddling); or boredom (talk to your baby, sing, and play with him).

My midwife says that our baby comfort sucks. I’m reluctant to introduce a pacifier—should we?

If a baby has latched on well at the breast and has sucked and
swallowed well during a long feeding, and then settles on the breast
taking small sucks and not swallowing, he is comfort sucking. Many
babies like to comfort suck, not just breast-fed ones. If your baby
falls asleep, you may be able to gently ease him off the breast, or if
you are comfortable, leave him there. Your baby may comfort suck for
many reasons. He may be stimulating the breast to increase your milk
supply; he may be “cluster” feeding and dozing before the next feeding;
or he may want to snuggle close. Comfort sucking is thought to steady
the baby’s heart rate, relax his stomach, and help him to settle down.

Some parents think
pacifiers are the best way to get a baby to sleep, day or night; others
think they should be used only at night, and some believe they should
not be used at all. The American Academy of Pediatrics updated its SIDS
guidelines in 2005 to include use of pacifiers. Studies show that babies
who suck their thumbs as well as those who are offered pacifiers have a
significant decrease in the incidence of SIDS. If your baby likes to
suck, you can offer him a clean finger to suck on; later on, some babies
comfort themselves by sucking on their own thumb or finger.