Once after having 1 child I asked my dad how on earth my nanna did it with 11?
My dad responded that she wasn’t given half the pressures I was.
She didn’t have to go to the bank, the supermarket everyday, she wasn’t expected to look a million bucks straight after birth and she never put pressure on her kids to have reached all of their miles stones by the age of 3 weeks, have the house clean and own a thermomix..
She just hung out with her kids and enjoyed them.
So how do we do it, with all of the pressure we are put under?
Well a lot of us don’t actually enjoy our kids, we are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect.
To go to the gym, answer that email, pay that bill, cook that organic kale, blend it, get it into a patty so no one knows it’s kale, get to the doctors…. The washing! Petrol in the car…. colour your god dam greys! Make the kids lunches cos if you order them again you will be JUDGED!
Meanwhile we are losing the time to be present the with our children, half listening to them, preoccupied, nodding along while our brains are thinking “fuck now Video Easy is taking legal action on that $12 fine”
Yesterday in a seminar we did an experiment, we partnered up and told a story, half way through the story our partners were ordered to stop listening. They looked away, yawned, preoccupied their minds, replied to an email while we were telling them something we believed interesting.
And guess how it made me feel? Boring, embarrassed for not being able to interest anyone, unworthy and insignificant.
Is that what this busy life is making my kids feel?
Today I woke up with a desire to take a deep breath and let it all go, I don’t really care about the new blinds I had ordered or making the house decent so that my mates don’t think I’ve lost the plot.
But I really care about my time with my kids and how they feel about themselves.
And I’m not going to let outside pressures and “Super mum” ideals take that away from me.