The transition from childhood to juvenility can be a trouble to parents and children. At this stage, the relationships between parents and children change. Teenagers look for more independence, which is a natural and usual part of growing up. Parents may struggle to find the balance between giving their child freedom and set up necessary limits. Though it’s normally difficult, parents need to help teenager make good, responsible decisions. As teenager is making a fast transition, parents usually feel that they lose control over that and family conflict increases. Clear communication and understanding of limits, such as curfew time, can help to reduce this dissonance.
Clear communication and understanding of limits, such as curfew time, can help to reduce this dissonance.
- Set up regulations and discuss them with your child. Make sure that your child understands the reason behind each of your regulations. Teenager responds well to parents having high expectation but giving her certain level of freedom at the same time. Avoid sneakiness or cheating behavior with tricks, let’s be straight. Cheating will only make your child wonder if she can trust you, and she can avoid discussing important topics when necessary. Cheating behavior can also increase contention.
- Set the curfew time together. Setting up curfew time helps to keep family culture undamaged and set the limit for your teenager. Allow your child to have her own voice – this will increase her independent feeling and effectiveness as well as create greater respect to new regulations. Create a curfew time that’s suitable for the teen’s age, but never be afraid to make compromise if needed. Discuss the consequences for the violation of the rules. The important thing is to make your child feel that the consequences are fair and reasonable.
- Remind your child of curfew time which was agreed by the whole family before she goes out at night. This can help to reinforce the unanimous rule. You can do this by pinning a note on the family calendar and give out a gentle verbal reminder. Enforce the consequences of violating the regulations, but avoid being arbitrary. Allow a buffer for a few minutes, especially if your child is driving a car. This will allow your teenager to go home late without driving at full speed. Discuss the reasons for coming home late and allow teenager to explain her lateness. Bear in your mind that sometimes people face problems such as traffic jam and flat tires. If your child continues to break the rules, remind her of consequences and enforce them.
Advice and warnings
- Don’t forget that your teenager is still a child in many aspects. Teenager needs to know that you love her unconditionally and setting up limits is done because you love your child, not a way of gaining control.
- Realize the alerts that everything is going wrong for your teenager. For instance, using drugs, truancy, involving in violent and illegal behaviors are signs to show that your child need help from professionals.